(The poem evolved from this photo of a horse at Balnarring beach
- more it's timing on recent Good Friday)
scrambled crests of waves
resolute hooves of morning
torment the tidal rhythms
the earth is drumming
white bow, red sword and black scales
a pale enigma follows
Poetry form: sedoka - addressing the same subject from different perspectives
(hope someone recognises the symbolism of the last 3 lines)
NOTE
I have 9 comments and no one seems to see the twist in the last 3 lines...
The poem hints of 'torment', upsetting daily rhythms,
and then moves into
symbols of the four horsemen of the apocalypse...
The first 3 - the anti-Christ, War and Famine...
The final pale enigma, the pale horseman, is Death...
More details HERE
(I wasn't trying to be sharp to people...
I was more concerned that the connections I created were too vague
and my poem as a whole just sounded plain odd...)
Linking to:
Imaginary Garden With Real Toads - Still getting out of the starting gate - equine association
17 comments:
Scrambled crests of waves - love that line. Came over from Amy as my maiden name was Wiseman and I was drawn! Cheers, Sally
You created a palpable atmosphere in these few lines.
There's a tribal beat to this, a songline to the ancestors. Amen.
You have really sketched the onrush of day here--a very creative metaphor with the day being the horse though the sea has the crests which are very equine too! Thanks. k.
Beautiful! And not unlike what my poem to this prompt says, though very different in style and form.
"resolute hooves of morning
torment the tidal rhythms"
So good.
"the earth is drumming", I feel that, but to what end? I enjoyed this and the photo is beautiful and fitting to your words.
The earth is drumming - you showed that with your choice words
Love it, title, photo and poem!
Lovely!!
Wow! "resolute hooves of morning" Love that. Beautiful piece
Nice, Gemma. I wasn't taking the horses and hooves literally but as forces working on the tides, etc. I too would not have thought back to the four horsemen in Revelation. You are good! Too good for me!
..
I particularly like your use of color.
In response to your Note: I think when we are writing daily and reading everyone else's too, sometimes the readings can be a bit cursory! I'm glad you elaborated so I could have another look and see the full implications.
This is gorgeous! I adore this:
"resolute hooves of morning
torment the tidal rhythms"
Great sound throughout.
Oh, I don't know if you're too sharp. I think many people are reading very quickly as we make rounds to all the poets this month, though... Effective allusion, especially in such short form. ~
I love the line "the earth is drumming" beautiful poem!!
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