Tuesday, 5 April 2016

please - who am I?...


Sculpture - Primate Change - Ralf Driessen
The sculpture is on display at Montalto vineyards, Red Hill...
This work was a finalist in the 2016 Montalto Sculpture Prize...



please - who am I
my story needs some insights
look me in the eye

someone must know why
I've walked through many lights
please - who am I

some propose a lie
but I need the key to rights
look me in the eye

some admittedly try
to research old dark nights
please - who am I

I can only sigh
please find some black and whites
look me in the eye

I can only cry
I've flown many flights
please - who am I
look me in the eye



Poetry form: villanelle
(I avoided iambic pentameter - as did Dylan Thomas - but retained the traditional rhyme scheme)

Linking to:
Imaginary Garden With Real Toads - The Tuesday Platform - Villanelle


15 comments:

Sanaa Rizvi said...

This is an absolutely magnificent Villanelle :D Spot on!

Marian said...

Oh! So simple. I really like this stripped-down villanelle.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

What a strange looking fellow. Well may he ask! Brilliantly imagined and written.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Your repeating lines work so well together as the final couplet. This is an interesting self-study.

debispoems said...

The big question in villanelle form. Great

Raivenne said...

I look at the photo, I read your words. I repeat the steps. And with each iteration it impresses me on just how perfect this poem is for the sculpture depicted. And with a Villanelle nonetheless.

Magaly Guerrero said...

Such yearning... made stronger for the repetition of the question. It makes me want to know the speaker... so that I can answer. ♥

Love the sculpture, too!

Ellecee said...

I agree with Rosemary, he is a strange looking fellow, looking for answers. I enjoyed your villanelle, so well crafted,

Jim said...

I liked that you put the Senryƫ into the Villanelle format. Doing that forgives the rhyme not needed or wanted in Haiku and Senryƫ. :)
Also I liked the contemporary statue find. I would like to have a chess set with pieces crafted after this art piece. If I ever return to Australia I might try to go there. Surely they have a gift shop.
..

brudberg said...

A Villanelle so simple yet so beautiful...

Sherry Blue Sky said...

The repeated lines work so well. An age old question, so well written.

Outlawyer said...

Ah so cool--I've never read one with such short lines--you've made it work super well. Congrats. k.

grapeling said...

a palpable lament ~

Brendan MacOdrum said...

It's the kind of naked enquiry one would press upon such a sculpture and skull, with skill and more than a little of the soul-dentist's drill. And the harder the voice pierces, the more we wonder about this I. Until only the question remains.

Margaret said...

... our life's mission. Some find it sooner than others - This poem obviously is the voice of one still searching, agonizingly so.

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