Friday, 15 April 2016

indifference...





old 
man
blind eyes
the window
the expected guest
a welcome of indifference
the young man, a small house-agent's clerk with one bold stare
and I, Tiresias, who have walked the lowest of the dead, finding the stairs unlit




Poetry form: Fibonacci - found/erasure poem based on an extract from T.S.Eliot's The Waste Land


Linking to:
Imaginary Garden With Real Toads - Tax Day and T.S. Eliot's poem The Waste Land
(There is a small connection with death in the final line, but the fib is not about death)

10 comments:

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Oh, well done!

Hannah said...

Such mystery to this...the unlit stairs especially.

Kerry O'Connor said...

I like the way this plays out from the single words to the final haunting line. This turned out really well.

Marian said...

Ah yes, that IS haunting. Nicely done! I dig the fibonacci.

brudberg said...

Oh I love the growth of meaning with each line.. like the Fibonacci expansiom

Rommy said...

Each line is built solidly on the other, and you get this superbly tense atmosphere created around the meeting described.

Raivenne said...

Oh, that last line Gemma! It just seals it all. Excellent use of Eliot.

Ellecee said...

Your poem has an uncanny, eerie felling for me. I like what you have done here.

De said...

Love the Fib form, and your take on it - especially "finding the stairs unlit"
Wonderful.

Susie Clevenger said...

Wow! This is fantastic. There was an unease in the whole piece that I find haunting.

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