Beyond the crumbles and webs of life...
Gemma, this is lovely. I struggled with all sorts of emotions as I composed my poem.
The "stung my memory" is a terrific line ~ Perhaps its best to move forward, a new beginning ~
stung is a great word here Gemma - lotsa puch for a short poem
one such as this is good enough... for the poet writing this form can come all too easy with some tweaks here or there to adjust the count - but a good one among the attempts is really hard to find... especially if we express our unique mood that may sound like the same old song when inside it is truly a birthday of the new...
I'm glad to see someone tackle the syllable approach--it really condenses things a *lot*, and makes the poem feel almost like a haiku, which I think is what the inventor was trying for--you've achieved that beautifully and very effectively here. That is some absolutely stunning photography at the link, too. Thanks so much for sharing both with us, Gemma.
Clever and a new beginning is always a gift!
Anniversaries can be bittersweet.
This felt very poignant and human and compressed but not warped by the form. One tide leaving for another. Thanks. k.
You have explored two sides to a remembered birthday.
looking backwards, almost pining, but that great last line - forward, with a gift - cool write, Gemma ~ M
I liked the last line in this (once I'd read the note). It brings in hope and optimism.
Beautifully put, Gemma, full of sadness and then hope.K
Very moving. Life takes and it gives, and you have found how to put the stings and gifts together.
Sometimes remembering is too painful...beautiful
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