Sunday, 25 August 2013

Once a birthday...




Your 
old 
birthday 
yesterday 
stung my memory 
but a friend received a koru


NOTE
Inspired by Marja at Dutchcorner's post HERE
A koru is a Maori symbol for a new beginning


Linking to:
Imaginary Garden With Real Toads - Weekend Mini Challenge - Fibonacci
(I used the 20 syllable version)

14 comments:

Helen said...

Gemma, this is lovely. I struggled with all sorts of emotions as I composed my poem.

Grace said...

The "stung my memory" is a terrific line ~ Perhaps its best to move forward, a new beginning ~

Sam Edge said...

stung is a great word here Gemma - lotsa puch for a short poem

L. Edgar Otto said...

one such as this is good enough... for the poet writing this form can come all too easy with some tweaks here or there to adjust the count - but a good one among the attempts is really hard to find... especially if we express our unique mood that may sound like the same old song when inside it is truly a birthday of the new...

hedgewitch said...

I'm glad to see someone tackle the syllable approach--it really condenses things a *lot*, and makes the poem feel almost like a haiku, which I think is what the inventor was trying for--you've achieved that beautifully and very effectively here. That is some absolutely stunning photography at the link, too. Thanks so much for sharing both with us, Gemma.

Ella said...

Clever and a new beginning is always a gift!

jabblog said...

Anniversaries can be bittersweet.

manicddaily said...

This felt very poignant and human and compressed but not warped by the form. One tide leaving for another. Thanks. k.

Kerry O'Connor said...

You have explored two sides to a remembered birthday.

grapeling said...

looking backwards, almost pining, but that great last line - forward, with a gift - cool write, Gemma ~ M

poetry-diary.com said...

I liked the last line in this (once I'd read the note). It brings in hope and optimism.

Kay L. Davies said...

Beautifully put, Gemma, full of sadness and then hope.
K

Susan said...

Very moving. Life takes and it gives, and you have found how to put the stings and gifts together.

Susie Clevenger said...

Sometimes remembering is too painful...beautiful

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